Sunday, July 19, 2015


Today, it was a humid day.  It became a day of yoga, shopping for groceries and then staying indoors with the AC on.  I watched one of my favorite movies, Serendipity and finished my drawing. 
Serendipity: let it find you, the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something truly wonderful, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated. Finding something good without looking for it.
Interesting this topic surfaced.  I woke up not in the greatest mood, feeling kind of like, "Do I have anyone that relates to me?" type of mood.  I went to yoga, in a daze, due to constant need for rest, which I never get.  The yoga instructor told us the focus of the day is: Let it go.  And so I did, well I try, does that count as doing it.  I always say it is.  She said, let go of everything even the good feelings, just be, let go of what you thought your life was going to be. let me repeat that: let go of what you thought your life was going to be
I really needed that.  I have been letting go of what I thought would have happened by now, instead focusing on what I need to do now. 
What I need to do, is enjoy my time here.  I need to remain open to the possibilities that I have even if I have no idea it will knock on my door.  I need to continue believing and hoping, as that is the faith I have. 
And I need to finish my art in realistic amount of time!  Which I was able to accomplish today. 
I focused on the butterfly series.  And will start another very soon.
It was not a coincidence today was about letting go and just letting things stumble in front of me.  It was not a coincidence that butterfly symbols are everywhere around me.  It is hope that this butterfly will bring me closer to my true destiny.  Until then I will let go and make art and just be!
Below are the stages this drawing went through.  The first drawing is the final piece. 
This is my favorite section of the drawing.
As well as this. 


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Color Life

How does one color their life? 
For the last month, everyday I have seen a butterfly, whether it is outside or at a store or from an email attachment.  My friends tell me this is starting to be freaky. I always had a spiritual connections, this time I feel even more connected.  Everyday we have signs given to use, and the sign that is connecting to me is a butterfly.

The butterfly is my inspiration for the next drawing.  In fact I can see this as a series of drawings based on this lovely insect.
If you know anything about my art, color and shape are the focus. Take a look at the colors and shapes from these butterfly photos...
Now my art:
This first drawing is taking the shapes and colors and enlarging them.  (I have more ideas for the next drawings.)
Did you say, wait this does not look like a butterfly...of course I have to use my other inspiration who was the best at turning something concrete into a creative piece...Picasso.
I believe, there is a change happening for me.  (About time as some would say.) But I also believe that the butterfly is my deceased mother from heaven saying "hi" to me and guiding me through this change, for all I know it could be the whole gang up there that I miss!  I certainly need her, more than anyone would ever know.
Here are a few quotes that are beautiful to think about...
Every time I see a butterfly, I look up to the heavens and say thank you. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

Quiet Times

It has been a quiet weekend.  It was the 4th of July, and normally there is food and some form of a get together, this year was more of a "don't feel like that."  I spent the weekend outside, as that is the best place to think in a productive way.  Being outside keeps me from crying, as my heart has been deeply hurt for too long. I couldn't help to think about a year ago, how so much changes in one year.
One thing that my life taught me is to live for the day I am in, not for tomorrow.  Although goals and dreams are good to have, I tend to plan too much and far too far away from now.
I drove to the park with my dog for a very long walk to get away and sort out my confusing thoughts.  This park is part for the Cleveland Metroparks, nearly in my backyard. While walking a white butterfly was flying near me, as if it was guiding me on my walk.  I have been seeing butterflies consistently for the past 3 weeks.  What is the spiritual meaning behind that for me?  Change of some sort?
Since the weather was beautiful many people took the opportunity to visit as well.  I wasn't alone, but yet here I was alone taking in the beautiful landscape.
Are you wondering what I thought about?  I was thinking about love.  How it must feel to be in love and the other person sharing that same feeling with you. Does it really exist?  As I looked around and watched families and couples enjoying a picnic, I sat wondering if that will ever happen for me. If I could go back a year ago, I would say love does exist for me, but now?? Not sure where he is and unclear about why it ended.  If I could have a wish upon a star to talk to him again, to understand, to reconnect...if only a wish would be granted. Told you I have been confused.
  Then minutes later, I was thinking about painting here at the park one day, like the Monet's and Cezanne's of the art world.
And the next day, after I relaxed and decided to not do anything for the day, I decided to go to my studio.  I have a painting that has been untouched since winter.
My cat joined me.

Of course this one had to watch over my paints.
Below are close ups of the painting.
before I began painting. 
Mid-way of painting today 
What I ended with, since I was loosing light.
So that was my weekend, tomorrow back to work.
Here’s to the people who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart.
Star light, Star bright, Wish upon a star tonight...